Game plan
by Princess Pechay
Summary: A chicken is an enemy. The chicken is THE enemy. And Uchiha Sasuke… is the chicken. Our only mission: Eliminate the chicken at all cause. Disregard other obstacles. Elimination of Uchiha Sasuke is a priority number one. SASUSAKU. AU
1. Prologue

**Title:** Game plan

**Summary: **

A chicken is an enemy. The chicken is THE enemy. And Uchiha Sasuke… is the CHICKEN. Our only mission: Eliminate the chicken at all cause. Disregard other obstacles. Elimination of Uchiha Sasuke is a priority number one. SASUSAKU. AU

* * *

**a/n:**_Hello everyone! I decided to write a fic! Yay! Lol. Well, this story was inspired by a text message from a friend. Tell me what you think, 'kay? _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

A _**chicken**__ is an enemy_

_The chicken is __**THE ENEMY**_

_**Eliminate **__chicken at all cause_

_This is our motto, this is our life, this…_

_is our __**game plan**_

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

"The moment that man walked in, I knew he was bad news…

_**Very, very, bad news…"**_

_Yes, Yes, this is me, speaking in my 28 year old body…_

_What?_

_You don't understand what I'm talking about?_

_Well, I suppose this is confusing…_

_Sigh. _

_Alright, I'll introduce myself then…_

My name, is Haruno Shinji…

_Currently 28 years old, son of Haruno Heiachi and Kasumi… _

_Though…_

_Sad to say…_

_My mother, Haruno Kasumi…_

_Died while giving birth to my baby sister…_

_Who is currently 23 years old…_

_And goes by the name, Haruno Sakura, currently a pre-school teacher and a part- time doctor in a clinic called "Hidden Leaf Hospital"…_

_Well, now that I think about it…_

_It was not that much of a grave loss for my father and I when mother died…_

_True, it saddened us__both my father and Iat first, but we realized that we need not prolong our grief and mourning since my mother left my father and I, a wonderful gift…_

_Yes, and by that, I mean…_

_My baby sister…_

_So yeah, she isn't that much of a baby anymore considering she is 23 years old…_

_But my father and I will never stop treating her as our, "hime"…_

"Alright, now that you know me…

_I'll continue what I was saying…_

_Now, where was I?_

_Oh… right…"_

Ehem…

_"The moment that man walked in, I knew, he was bad news…_

_**Very, very, bad news… "**_

_"Which reminds me…_

_Before I forg--"_

_Oww!_

_THAT **HURT!**_

**_argh. _**

_Let me **kindly** remind you**--little evil demonic readers--** that throwing garbage is very **impolite.**_

_And **NO**, you may** not** throw **furniture** at me._

_Do not worry, this is the last time I'm going to interrupt your reading... _

_Well, not really the last time...snicker_

_Ahhhh! I was joking! I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!_

_ehem._

_Moving on..._

_I shall continue what I was saying before I was **RUDELY INTERRUPTED**..._

_clears throat ehem..._

"Which reminds me…

_Before I forget, I need to inform you of one vital thing before I continue..._

_Just to make things clear,_

_This is me, Haruno Shinji, re-telling you the story of how my sister's pre-school students turned into the anti-chicken warriors for one month…_

_How my father and I unleashed our overprotective fury…_

_And lastly, how my baby sister…_

_My hime-chan,_

_Found the love of her life…_

_The one man, marked as "the chicken" by pre-school students…_

_The man my father and I loathed for a long amount of time…_

_**Uchiha Sasuke. "**_

* * *

**a/n**_ Well? What do you guys think? As I have said before, this was inspired by a text message from a friend. Wondering what the text message said? _

_Lol. _

_Well, here's what it said: _

A skunk is an ENEMY…

The ENEMY is the SKUNK. Ü

gOod mOrning!

Hahaha…Mustah?

_And in case you're wondering, I showed you guys the exact words in the text message. I'm serious. It's exactly what's written in the text message. ;D_

_Hmmm… I guess that's about it! Don't forget to review guys! Cause, reviews inspire me to update! Lol. See ya in the next chapter! Bye bye! _


	2. I: Uchiha!

**Title:** Game plan

**Summary: **

A chicken is an enemy. The chicken is THE enemy. And Uchiha Sasuke… is the chicken. Our only mission: Eliminate the chicken at all cause. Disregard other obstacles. Elimination of Uchiha Sasuke is a priority number one. SASUSAKU. AU

* * *

**a/n:**_ Hello everybody! First of all, I would just like to thank everybody who reviewed my story. You guys really motivated me to write this chapter. _

_Oh and to Bored Konoha Kunoichi: _

_Thank you very much. Your review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside?_

_Yes, I know, I get pleased easily. Shoot me now. Lol. ;D_

_Um, to your questions: _

_1. "How'd you come up with the "antichicken army" kindergarteners?"_

_Um, well, I'm not really sure though. I guess it just popped into my head. I know, lame. Please bear with me. :)_

_2. "__Will the whole story be in first person my Sakura's brother?"_

_No, it won't, it would probably shift from Sakura's brother to another character's POV. _

_I'm sorry, if my answers weren't really much help though. But really, thanks a lot, your review is much appreciated. :D_

_To neon kun: I'll try my best not to disappoint you! Thank you for the review! :D _

_To Sasana-chan: I'm sorry for updating really late. I apologize and I feel ashamed that you had to PM me so that I would update. :)_

_To __bRattY-eBonY-cArcAss17__: Thanks! And yes, I'm a Filipino! (Well actually, I'm half-chinese and half-filipino. And yes, I can speak in both Chinese and tagalong. Although, I need to brush up on my Chinese since I haven't spoken it that language a lot in a long time. :D) _

_Lastly, I would like to apologize to everyone for any errors I made at my first post and again, and again, thank you very much everyone. :D_

_By the way, I don't think I did this chapter very well so I apologize in advance if you don't like it that much but I'll try my best to make the second chapter better. :D_

_That's all! Enjoy! ;D_

* * *

_A __**chicken**__ is an enemy_

_The chicken is __**THE ENEMY**_

_**Eliminate **__chicken at all cause_

_This is our motto, this is our life, this…_

_is our __**game plan**_

* * *

_**Previously: **_

_This is me, Haruno Shinji, re-telling you the story of how my sister's pre-school students turned into the anti-chicken warriors for one month…_

_How my father and I unleashed our overprotective fury…_

_And lastly, how my baby sister…_

_My hime-chan…_

_Found the love of her life…_

_The one man, marked as "the chicken" by pre-school students…_

_The man my father and I loathed for a long amount of time…_

_**Uchiha Sasuke. **_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Uchiha…?!**

* * *

Ehem.

_Now that we're through with that, I shall continue on with my story._

_So… hmm… right…_

_The moment that man walked in, I knew, he was bad news…_

_**Very, very, bad news… **_

_You see, my father, hime-chan and I were supposed to have dinner together that Friday night. Actually, we went out to eat every Friday night to catch up on each other. It was Saku-hime's idea of course._

_So… you could probably say that my father and I were expecting a perfectly normal Friday night dinner with our hime-chan…_

_Well, to tell you the truth, we did._

_Unfortunately, something unexpected happened… _

* * *

"No." He glared.

"Sasuke-kun... stop being so persistent."

"_No_. You stop being _persistent_." _Tch, annoying…_

"Sasuke-kun, tell me. What is so bad about meeting my family?"

"Hn."

"_Sasuke-kun._" She warned.

"Sakura."

"grr…"

* * *

_See? This is one of the reasons why my father and I loathed him before! I mean, how can he be so cruel and horrid to hime-chan?!_

_I mean, is "hn," an appropriate and respectful answer?! Let me answer that, NO! It's not even a bloody word! _

_It's kind of a grunt if I would say so myself… BUT…_

_Grunting is very impolite!_

_And a man treating hime-chan impolitely is a big NO-NO!_

_I shall curse you Uchiha Sasuke!_

_A CURSE SO HORRID THAT…_

_Um… aha! _

_A CURSE SO HORRID that will make that 3 ft pole stuck up your ass become a __**3.5**__ ft pole stuck up in your ass! _

_HA!_

_Take __**THAT! **_

_BWAHAHAHAHAHA!_

* * *

"_Fine_. Then consider this relationship we have, _bloody_ over."

"Sakura…" He sighed.

She turned around and headed for the door.

"Sakura." He caught her wrist. "Sakura. Stop being a _drama queen_." He continued.

* * *

_DRAMA QUEEN?!_

_SAKURA IS SO NOT A DRAMA QUEEN! _

_Wait, that didn't come out right… I sounded like… _

_Ino… _—_shudders_—

* * *

She gasped. "_How dare you?!_"

"I just _did_."

"ARGH! You are really pushing my buttons Sasuke!"

"So are you. Sakura."

_Twitch._

And that's when pretty, little unica hija, Haruno Sakura…

threw her shoe at Uchiha Sasuke…

and stomped off.

* * *

_Hahaha!_

_That's my sister! _

_In your ugly sorry face Uchiha! _

_Eat that Uchiha shit-face! _

_Go shoes! Go shoes! Bruise that Uchiha! Bruise that Uchiha!_

_Snicker. Snicker. _

_What?_

_Why are you looking at me like that?_

_I did __**NOT**__ lie._

_Ok, fine._

_I just lied. _

_Woah, woah, woah! Wait, How'd you bloody know I lied?_

_I do __**NOT **__always lie. _

_I just wanted it to happen that way!! A guy can dream, can't he?_

_Ow. _

_That _**hurt.**

_Sigh._

_Fine, I'll tell you what really happened. All true, no lies. Just like the way you guys want it. _

_You guys better give me a cookie after this… a big one at that. _

* * *

EHEM.

_The moment that man walked in, I knew, he was bad news…_

_**Very, very, bad news… **_

_You see, my father, hime-chan and I were supposed to have dinner together that Friday night. Actually, we went out to eat every Friday night to catch up on each other. It was Saku-hime's idea of course._

_So… you could probably say that my father and I were expecting a perfectly normal Friday night dinner with our hime-chan…_

_Well, to tell you the truth, we did._

_Unfortunately, something unexpected happened… _

—_See? I didn't lie about this part. In your face. –cackle_—

* * *

"Tou-san! Nii-chan!" a melodic voice called.

I glanced to the left… so did my father…

* * *

_Who was it you may ask?_

_It's quite obvious, really. _

_Do I know who it is? Of course I do. _

_I would recognize that voice anywhere. _

* * *

And we saw the most important woman in our life… my baby sister… our hime-chan…

Haruno Sakura.

Both mine and my father's face immediately lighted up at the sight of her.

"Sakura-hime!" My father greeted. At the same time, I greeted her too, "Sakura."

* * *

_Hmm… Yes, you might be wondering why I don't call her "sakura-hime," like I do here in my thoughts. Well, it's because on the day she graduated, she asked me to stop calling her that since she feels like a child._

_She also asked dad but he kept being persistent and still called her that anyway. Meh, it would be his loss anyway when Sakura-hime gets sick of him calling her like that and then ignore him. Unlike him, I'm being smart, rational and_—_most importantly_—_ staying in Sakura-hime's good side. _

* * *

"Tou-san! How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? Nii-chan stopped, why can't you?"

_Ha! See, my point? _

She sighed. "You know what? Forget about it. I don't care anymore."

* * *

_Ouch._

_Seems like I was mistaken. _

_Crash and burn for me. _

_You know what?_

_That's not really fair on my part._

_Dad gets to call her that. _

_I don't. _

_Yes, I know I'm bitching. What? You don't know what bitching means? Argh. I hate you. My life sucks. Would you like fries with that?_

* * *

"Anyway, I invited someone to join us tonight!" She smiled.

"Really? Who?" My father asked.

"Is it one of your friends?" I asked.

"No. It's not. You haven't met him before. He's actually—"

"_HE?_" my father hissed.

I choked on my spit. _**HE?! **__Whoever that little punk is, if he tries to make a move on my sis, I'll castrate him, rip out his spine, chop off his body into little pieces and feed it to the monkeys. _—_cackle_—

"Tou-san! Let me finish! He's actually my boss and friend."

"Oh. Good." My father said.

She rolled her eyes.

"Just a _friend_? Like Naruto?" I asked suspiciously.

* * *

_When she was in high school, my father and I allowed her to have friends that are boys. The first guy friend that she had was Naruto. We_ _sort of accepted him because through his actions, he was able to prove to us that he really was good at heart. And on the plus side, he had no romantic intentions with Sakura-hime which was a big deal for us._

* * *

I eyed her suspiciously.

I swear I saw her gulp at that.

_No_, I am **_not_** paranoid.

It's the truth!

Look! Look!

See?!

She did it again!

"E-err… m-maybe…?" she stuttered out.

"HA! I knew it! I—" but before I could finish, I was interrupted by the deafening silence created by Sakura-hime and my father. Also, I realized that they weren't listening to me. Yes, I know. Ouch.

"Tou-san, why are you gaping?" I asked, annoyed.

"Uchiha…?" My father muttered breathlessly and… shockingly…?

_Uchiha…?_

And as I took a glance at Sakura-hime, I saw her lips twitch into a smile.

_The hell? Why the sudden mood swing?_

And as I put the pieces together, I came to a realization… I turned around and saw a raven-haired man with onyx eyes walk in, fast approaching us… _No fucking way…_

"Good evening Haruno-san, Shinji-san. I'm Uchiha Sasuke, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm quite sure Sakura informed you that I would be joining you dine tonight, do correct me if I'm wrong."

And that's when it hit me.

* * *

_Uchiha Sasuke…_

_Future heir of Uchiha Corporations and current owner of the hospital my sis works on part-time, Hidden Leaf Hospital… _

_is standing right in front of us and could be the possible future husband of my baby sis, Sakura-hime…_

_And just when I thought things couldn't get anymore bloody worse, I suddenly remembered…_

_My father hated_—_despised_—_no, __**loathed**__ Uchihas. _

* * *

"Sakura. Shinji. This dinner is over. We're going home. **NOW**." My father hissed.

"Excuse me…?!" He—Sasuke exclaimed.

"Fuck off." My father glared at him and stomped off, dragging a very reluctant Sakura who kept muttering an apology to Sasuke who had a furious and confused look on his face.

* * *

_To say in the least, everyone was fucking confused at how my father reacted. Even I, who knew that he loathed Uchihas, was shocked. It all happened so fast. And add up the fact that he told Uchiha Sasuke to, "Fuck off." I never really knew my father could curse. I mean, he was a really religious man and all. So yeah, I'm pretty shocked and confused._

_Hmm…_

_Fuck off is a pretty sweet curse…_

_I'll remember to spat that out to Ino when we have those, "Sakura needs a boyfriend arguments." _

"_Hey Ino, fuck off." Haha. No, wait, that's not good enough._

_How about I put on a cold look and add a make-you-piss-right-then-and-there-look and say, "Fuck Off."_

_Hmm… yeah. That would do. _—_snicker_—

* * *

_And that night,_

_I, Haruno Shinji stood there beside Uchiha Sasuke, gaping like a fish,_

_**without**__ a ride home._

_Well, **fuck.**_

* * *

**a/n:**_ Hey guys! I hoped you liked it! I'm sorry for the very late update! School was a bitch. And yes, note the word, "was." Why? Because school is officially over!! (Well, not really over. Just for the meantime. :) Actually, it was over two weeks ago. I know, I know. I should've updated earlier. I'm sorry. It's just that school was really tough on me the last few days of it and I really needed a break.) Hello, SUMMER VACATION!! :)) (Meh. I'll be back to school again anyway. Damn. Hehe. More reason to savour vacation time. Lol.) Oh and I'm not sure if I'd be able to update soon cuz since its summer we might go out-of-town and out of the country. Yes, you heard right, __AND._

_Again, I would like to say, I don't think I did this chapter very well so I apologize in advance if you don' like it that much but I'll try my best to make the second chapter better. :D_

_Well, I guess that's all! _

_Please review you guys! _

_See ya in the next chappie! Bye Bye! :D_

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